Welcome.
Please post your cover letter revision exercises to this page. For the sake of convenience and readability, please put your name with your revision and format the page in such a way as to leave space between exercises. If you wish, you may separate the exercises with a horizontal line (2nd row, first button on the left). Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns.
James Mangrum (Part 1)
73 Progress St.
Blacksburg, VA 24060
May 26, 2011
Jane Frederick
Director of Personnel
Johnson Engineering
23 Old Tower Rd.
Vienna, VA 22104
Dear Ms. Frederick,
I am writing in response to your ad in the Tuesday, April 25 edition of the Washington Post for a Civil Engineer with a background in environmental systems. I will have a B.S. in Civil Engineering with an environmental engineering emphasis by May 2010. A job at that time would be very attractive.
I have taken several courses in Civil Engineering many dealing with soils, earth structures, and dynamics of groundwater. I have acquired communications skills in dealing with the public by working retail positions, and made numerous contacts through my involvement in several professional organizations. I volunteered at a local home repair organization, which gave me valuable hands-on experience in community relations between homeowners and the engineering industry.
I would welcome the opportunity to discuss my credentials with you. I will be at (540) 555-0100 should you desire to contact me. I will call your office early next week to see whether we might arrange a meeting.
Sincerely,
Fred Stevens
James Mangrum (Part 2)
I suggest Mr. Stevens should be more respectful with his conclusion and not be overconfident. Another suggestion is to be more specific on what organizations and positions he worked for to help out his references. When he talks about his job experience, he should relate his credentials to strengthen his opportunity for the job offer.
Anna Dellapenta (Part 1)
May 26th, 2011
Ms. Jane Frederick,
Director of Personnel
Johnson Engineering
23 Old Tower Road
Vienna, VA 22104
Dear Ms. Frederick,
I am writing in response to your ad for a Civil Engineer in the Tuesday, April 25th, edition of the Washington Post. In May of 2010 I will have a B.S. in Civil Engineering with an environmental engineering emphasis.
Of the courses I have taken in Civil Engineering, the ones pertaining to the environment include soils, earth structures, and dynamics of groundwater.
My communications skills have been essential in dealing with the public in various retail positions as well as allowing me to make numerous contacts through my involvement in several professional organizations. Through volunteer work at a local home repair organization, I have gained valuable hands-on experience in community relations between homeowners and the engineering industry.
I welcome the opportunity to discuss my credentials with you. You may contact me at (540) 555-0100 should you desire to set up an interview.
Sincerely,
Fred Stevens
73 Progress Street
Blacksburg, VA
Anna Dellapenta (Part 2)
Mr. Stevens should include a letter head/company logo at the top of his cover letter. He may also consider adding details about his experience in volunteer work and how hes made contacts in professional organizations. Expanding on his relevant classes would likely benefit him as well.
Shan Rammah (Part 1)
Fred Stevens
73 Progress Street
Blacksburg, VA
P: 540-555-0100
May 26, 2011
Jane Frederick
Director of Personnel
Johnson Engineering
23 Old Tower Road
Vienna, VA 22104
Dear Ms. Frederick:
I am writing in response to your job advertisement in the Tuesday, April 25 edition of the Washington Post for a Civil Engineer with a background in environmental systems, available in May 2011. I am currently an undergraduate student studying Civil Engineering with an emphasis in environmental engineering. I expect to complete my B.S. degree by May 2011.
At school, I have taken several courses in Civil Engineering that deal with the environment, including soils, earth structures, and dynamics of groundwater. From my several retail positions, I have acquired communications skills essential to dealing with the public. My extra-curricular activities at school include several professional organizations and volunteer work at a local home repair organization. Because of my experience, I have gained valuable hands-on experience in community relations between homeowners and the engineering industry.
Thank you for your consideration and I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Fred Stevens
Enclosure
Shan Rammah (Part 2)
I would recommend that he be more specific when referencing his college, work, and volunteer experiences. Also, he should not assume that he will be contacted back in a week.
Howard Taing (Part 1)
Fred Stevens
73 Progress Street
Blacksburg, VA 24060
(540) 555-0100
May 26, 2011
Ms. Jane Frederick
Director of Personnel
Johnson Engineering
23 Old Tower Road
Vienna, VA 22104
Dear Ms. Frederick;
I am writing in response to your advertisement in the Tuesday, April 25 edition of the Washington Post for a Civil Engineer with a background in environmental systems. I will have a B.S. in Civil Engineering with an environmental engineering emphasis by May 2011.
I have taken several courses in Civil Engineering many dealing with the environment. These courses have included topics such as soils, earth structures, and dynamics of groundwater.
I have acquired communications skills essential in dealing with the public by working in many retail positions. I have been involved with several professional organizations, including volunteer work at a local home repair organization. Through these experiences I have made numerous contacts and have gained valuable experience in community relations between homeowners and the engineering industry.
I would welcome the opportunity to meet with you to discuss my credentials. I will be contacting your office next week, but in the mean time you can contact me at (540)555-0100. I look forward to hearing a response form you soon. Thank you for taking the time to review my letter and my enclosed résumé.
Sincerely,
Fred Stevens
Enclosure (Résumé)
Howard Taing (Part 2)
I would suggest Mr. Stevens include why he is interested in the position and what he can contribute in the introductory paragraph. As for the 2nd and 3rd paragraphs, he could have provided a lot more detail.
Ethan Hill Part 1: Revisions
73 Progress Street
Blacksburg, VA 24061
May 26, 2011
Jane Frederick
Director of Personnel
Johnson Engineering
23 Old Tower Road
Vienna, VA 22104
Dear Ms. Frederick:
I read in the April 25 Washington Post edition of your need for a Civil Engineer with a background in Environmental Systems starting in May 2011. I will soon graduate with a B.S. in Civil Engineering with an Environmental Engineering emphasis by May 2011. I would be eager to help you accomplish your goals immediately following my graduation.
As a result of my education, I have gained an in-depth understanding of Environmental Systems including: Soils, earth structure, and dynamics of groundwater that I believe will lend great assistance to your goals.
As the need for public relations grows in the engineering community, I believe that my previous experience will aid in communicating to diverse communities. Through working in retail, involvement in professional organizations, and volunteer work at a local home repair organization I have gained valuable hands-on experience with community relations and many influential contacts.
I believe that I possess the qualities that will best suit the goals of your institute. I would welcome the opportunity to discuss my credentials further with you. Should you desire to reach me, I will be at (540) 555-0100. I will call your office early next week to see whether we might arrange a meeting concerning the position.
Sincerely,
Fred Doe
Enclosure
Part 2: Suggestions
Fred Doe may consider conducting more research about the goals of the institution in order to better understand their needs. This may help the content and the quality of the cover letter to be more enticing to the reader. He graduates a year before their position opens? Proofread!
Alexis Carambot Part 1:Revisions
73 Progress Street
Blacksburg, VA 24060
(540) 555-0100
(E-mail)
May 26, 2011
Ms. Jane Frederick
Director of Personnel, Johnson Engineering
23 Old Tower Road
Vienna, Va 22104
Dear Ms. Frederick:
I am writing in response to your ad in the April 25 edition of the Washington Post, regarding a position for a Civil Engineer with a background in environmental systems. I will soon have a B.S. in Civil Engineering with an emphasis in environmental engineering.
This job is very appealing to me at this key time. I have taken several courses in Civil Engineering; many dealing with the environment including: soils, earth structures, and dynamics of groundwater. I have gained valuable hands-on experience in community relations between homeowners and the engineering industry through volunteer work in at local home repair organization.
I would welcome the opportunity to discuss my credentials with you. I will be at (540) 555-0100 should you desire to contact me. I will call your office early next week to see whether we might arrange a meeting. Thank you for taking your time reading this over.
Sincerely,
(Handwritten signature)
Fred Stevens
Enclosure (Résumé)
Alexis Carambot Part 2: Suggestions
Mr. Stevens:
State from which school you will be graduating in paragraph one. Include why this job attracts you, then relate the courses you took and you’re past experiences to the work you will be doing at the firm. In the closing paragraph make sure to close with a thank you.
Edwin Torres Part 1:Revisions
73 Progress Street
Blacksburg, VA 24060
(540) 555-0100
April 26, 2011
Jane Frederick
Director of Personnel
Johnson Engineering
23 Old Tower Road
Vienna, VA 22104
Dear Ms. Frederick:
I read in the April 25th edition of the Washington Post of your need for a Civil Engineer with a background in environmental systems for May 2011. I expect to graduate with a B.S. in Civil Engineering with a focus in environmental engineering in May 2011. Following graduation it would be great to be part of Johnson Engineering.
Throughout my undergraduate career, I completed several courses in Civil Engineering which lay great emphasis on the environment. In these courses I have worked with soils, earth structures, and the dynamics of groundwater; which provide me with the essentials to work well in and with the environment.
While holding multiple retail positions, I learned to apply communications skills that are essential to cooperate with coworkers and clients alike. I have also performed volunteer work at a local home repair organization where I was able to gain valuable hands-on experience on how community relations between homeowners and the engineering industry operate. Alongside these experiences, I also made it important to involve myself with several professional organizations.
I would welcome the opportunity to interview with you. Should you desire to contact me, you may reach me at (540) 555-0100. I will call your office next week to see whether we might arrange a meeting. Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely,
(Handwritten Signature)
Fred Smith
Enclosure: Résumé
Edwin Torres Part 2:Suggestions
Mr. Fred Smith,
To begin, I suggest that you provide your email in your inquiry for this position under your phone number. I also think that your tone was somewhat informal. I believe that you have to provide more information as to what your experiences (professional organizations and classes) have taught you and how Ms. Frederick will benefit from them. Include from where you graduate and make sure to include a résumé. My final suggestion would be to proof read and double check your letter for common mistakes and typos as it makes the first impression for you. Also, I hope you did not send this letter in May for it may be too late.
Dan Goff (Part 1)
Fred Stevens
73 Progress Street
Blacksburg, VA
(540) 555-0100
May 26, 2011
Jane Frederick, Director of Personnel
Johnson Engineering
23 Old Tower Road
Vienna, Va 22104
Dear Ms. Frederick:
I am writing in response to your ad for a Civil Engineer with a background in environmental systems in the April 25 edition of the Washington Post. Your ad mentioned the position will be available in May 2011; I will have a B.S. in Civil Engineering with an environmental engineering emphasis at that same time, and a position at that time would be very attractive.
My civil engineering coursework includes many dealing with the environment, such as soils, earth structures, and dynamics of groundwater. I have acquired essential communications skills by working in many retail positions (please see attached resume). Additionally, I have been involved in several professional organizations, and volunteer work with a local home repair oraganization has given me valuable hands-on experience in community relations between homeowners and the engineering industry.
I would welcome the opportunity to discuss my credentials with you. You can reach me at (540) 555-0100, should you desire to contact me. I will call your office early next week to see whether we might arrange a meeting.
Sincerely,
Fred Stevens
Enclosure: résumé
Dan Goff (Part 2)
Mr. Stevens should definitely elaborate on his professional involvement and highlight some key things he's done or projects he's worked on. Procrastination is likely working against him here; waiting to apply for a job advertised a month earlier will probably only guarantee the job has been filled.
Patrick Black
Part 1:
Fred Stevens
73 Progress Street
Blacksburg, VA 24060
May 26, 2011
Ms. Jane Fredrick
Director of Personnel
Johnson Engineering
23 Old Tower Road
Vienna, VA 22104
Dear Ms. Fredrick:
I am writing in response to your ad in the Tuesday, April 25 edition of The Washington Post for a Civil Engineer with a strong background in environmental systems available in May 2011. I will be graduating in May with a B.S. in Civil Engineering with an emphasis on Environmental Engineering. Obtaining a job directly after graduation would be very enticing.
I have taken many classes throughout my course work in the Civil Engineering program, many of which deal with environmental topics. These include soils, earth structures and groundwater dynamics.
My work experience in retail has helped me to develop excellent public communication skills. Several professional organizations that I have been a part of have helped me develop contacts as well. I have gained valuable hands-on experience in community relations between homeowners and the engineering industry through volunteer work in a local home repair organization.
I would welcome the opportunity to discuss my credentials with you. I plan on contacting your office early next week to inquire as to whether you desire to arrange a meeting. I may be contacted at (540) 555-0100. Thank you for your time and I hope to hear from you soon.
Sincerely,
Fred Stevens
Enclosure: resume
Part 2:
There were a couple typos. For instance, the dates of graduation and job starting did no coincide. I assumed that they were meant to be the same. One big thing he was missing was a thank you. I would suggest mentioning a few more specific strengths that Fred has in the field of civil engineering. He also might want to specifically mention how his talents and skills can help Johnson Engineering achieve their goals.
Justin Emery
Part 1
73 Progress Street
Blacksburg, VA
May 26 11
Jane Frederick
Director of Personnel
Johnson Engineering
23 Old Tower Road
Vienna, Va 22104
Dear Ms. Frederick;
I am writing in response to your ad in the Washington Post for a Civil Engineer with a background in Environmental Systems. I will receive a B.S. in Civil Engineering with an environmental emphasis by May 2010, any opportunity at that time would be greatly appreciated.
While pursuing an Civil Engineering degree I have taken several courses dealing with the Environmental aspects of engineering. These courses include soils, earth structures, and dynamics of groundwater.
I have acquired the communications skills essential in dealing with the public by working in retail positions, during my studies I was involved in several professional organizations. Through those organizations I was able to use those communications skills to obtain numerous contacts. Also, through volunteer work in a local home repair organization I gained valuable hands-on experience in community relations between homeowners and the engineering industry.
I would welcome the opportunity to discuss my credentials with you. I am available at (540) 555-0100 should you desire to contact me. I will call your office early next week to see when we can arrange a meeting.
Sincerely,
Fred
Part 2
He could add a little more detail to his cover letter, like stating what organizations he was a member. Also maybe how working in retail increased his social skills, like what challenges he faced. Since he is applying for a Environmental position he should include specific environmental examples.
Andrew Jensen Part 1:Revisions
Fred Stevens
73 Progress Street
Blacksburg, VA 24060
(540) 555-0100
ude.tv|snevetsderf#ude.tv|snevetsderf
May 26 11
Jane Frederick
Director of Personnel
Johnson Engineering
23 Old Tower Road
Vienna, Va 22104
Dear Ms. Frederick,
I am writing in response to your ad in the Tuesday, April 25 edition of the Washington Post. This ad requested a Civil Engineer with a background in environmental systems available in May 2011. By May 2010 I will have a B.S. in Civil Engineering with an environmental engineering emphasis.
I have taken several courses in Civil Engineering many dealing with the environment. These include soils, earth structures, and dynamics of groundwater.
I have acquired communications skills essential in dealing with the public by working in many retail positions. I have gained valuable hands-on experience in community relations between homeowners and the engineering industry through volunteer work in at local home repair organization.
I am very interested in this position and welcome the opportunity to discuss my credentials with you. I can be contacted at (540) 555-0100. I look forward to hearing from you and appreciate your time.
Sincerely,
Fred Stevens
Enclosure
Part 2:Suggestions
Fred needs to be more specific with his job experiences and the strengths he has achieved through them. He also needs to include his email and also attach a resume. It wasn't necessary for Fred to include that he would contact them in a week and I believe he could have been more respectful in his letter.
Greg Kubacki Part 1:
73 Progress Street
Blacksburg, VA
540-555-0100
May 26, 2011
Jane Frederick
Director of Personnel,
Johnson Engineering
23 Old Tower Road
Vienna, Va 22104
Dear Ms. Frederick:
I am writing in response to your ad in the Tuesday, April 25 edition of the Washington Post for a Civil Engineer. The position requires an emphasis in environmental engineering, which has been the focus of my studies. Many of the courses have included subjects such as: soils, earth structures, and dynamics of groundwater. A position available in May 2011 would be ideal, for I will have received a Bachelor’s degree in Civil Engineering as of May 2010.
I have acquired communications skills essential in dealing with the public by working in many retail positions. Through my involvement in several professional organizations I have made numerous dependable contacts. Additionally, I have gained valuable hands-on experience in community relations, specifically between homeowners and the engineering industry, through volunteer work in a local home repair organization.
I would greatly appreciate the opportunity to discuss a possible future with you and your company. Please feel free to contact me at your convenience.
Sincerely,
Fred Stevens
Enclosure
Greg Kubacki Part 2:
Mr. Stevens,
Include why you are interested in the job and what you like about the company. Explain a little more about your background as a student including specifics about related classes and what could be useful from them. The last paragraph was much too aggressive and needed to be changed to a more respectful closing.
___
Anna Crews (Part 1)
Fred Stevens
73 Progress Street
Blacksburg, VA
(540)555-0100
ude.tv|snevetSderF#ude.tv|snevetSderF
May 26, 2011
Jane Frederick
Director of Personnel
Johnson Engineering
23 Old Tower Road
Vienna, Va 22104
Dear Ms. Frederick:
I am writing in response to your ad in the Tuesday, April 25 edition of the Washington Post for a Civil Engineer with a background in environmental systems. I will have a B.S. in Civil Engineering with an environmental engineering emphasis by May 2010. A job at that time would be very attractive.
During my undergraduate career, I took several environmental courses offered by the Civil Engineering department, including; soils, earth structures, and dynamics of groundwater. I have also acquired communications skills essential in dealing with the public by working in many retail positions and made numerous contacts through my involvement in several professional organizations. I have gained valuable hands-on experience in community relations between homeowners and the engineering industry through volunteer work in at local home repair organization.
I believe my coursework and experience in communications and networking will contribute a great deal to your organization. I would value the opportunity to discuss my credentials with you. Should you desire to contact me, you can reach me at (540) 555-0100 or ude.tv|snevetSderF#ude.tv|snevetSderF. Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
Fred Stevens
Enclosure (Resume)
Anna Crews (Part 2)
Mr. Stevens should be more descriptive of his credentials and emphasize why they are important for a job such as this one. He should express why he believes he is the correct person for the job and be able to express it personably with the intent of assuring the reader.
Kevin Pfab Part 1: Revisions
Fred Stevens
73 Progress Street
Blacksburg, VA 24060
(540) 555-0100
(Include email here)
May 26 2011
Jane Frederick
Director of Personnel
Johnson Engineering
23 Old Tower Road
Vienna, Va 22104
Dear Ms. Frederick,
I am writing in response to your ad in the Tuesday, April 25 edition of the Washington Post for a Civil Engineer with a background in environmental systems available. I expect to be graduating in May 2011 with a B.S. in Civil Engineering with an environmental engineering emphasis.
During my education as a Civil Engineer I took classes relating to the environment, such as: Soils, Earth Structures, and Dynamics of Groundwater.
As public relations become increasingly important in our industry, I believe my past work experiences prepare me well for communicating with members of the community. I have gained hands-on experience in a few diverse manners, including: retail work, community relations through homeowners, and volunteer work in my local home repair organization.
I am very keen on the position, would welcome the opportunity to discuss my credentials with you. You can reach me any time at (54) 555-0100 or (include email here). I will call your office early next week to see whether we might arrange a meeting to discuss the position.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
(Handwritten signature)
Fred Stevens
Enclosure (Résumé)
Kevin Pfab Part 2: Suggestions
Fred would benefit greatly by including more detail about his past work experiences, and strengths he gained through them. He could also describe a brief example of when he demonstrated skills he would need on the job, such as a past project he has worked on. His original tone was too informal for the situation, and he needs to enclose his resume for the organization to look over.
As a side note, I noticed Fred is sending this letter on May 26th, and the inquiry was for an engineer by May. Hopefully this was a mistake on Fred’s part, as he may be too late for the position.
Sam Castonguay: Part 1
73 Progress Street
Blacksburg, VA
(540) 555-0100
E-mail Address
May 26, 2011
Jane Frederick
Director of Personnel
Johnson Engineering
23 Old Tower Road
Vienna, Virginia 22104
Dear Ms. Frederick:
I am writing in response to your ad posted in the April 25th edition of the Washington Post. The specific advertisement was for a Civil Engineer with a background in Environmental Systems available beginning May of 2011. I have recently completed my Bachelor of Science Degree in Civil Engineering complemented with an environmental engineering emphasis. Given my college education and personal skills, I feel that I could be an asset to your company’s staff.
While earning my bachelor’s, I acquired communication skills essential in dealing with the public by working in many retail positions. I also made numerous contacts through my involvement in several professional organizations. I possess valuable hands-on experience in community relations between homeowners and the engineering industry gained through volunteer work at local home repair organization. I have attached my full resume for your review.
I would love the opportunity to discuss my credentials with you potentially in an interview. I will call your office early next week to follow up but should you desire to contact me my phone number is (540) 555-0100. I am eager to provide you with any additional information, so please let me know if that is necessary. Thank you for your time and I look forward to speaking with you.
Sincerely,
Handwritten Signature
Fred [Last Name]
Enclosure (resume)
Sam Castonguay: Part 2
In addition to being vague with his contact information, Fred is unclear about why he desires the specific position being advertised in the newspaper. In order to make his letter more appealing to the potential employer, he should have written it with more material regarding Johnson Engineering and the job itself.
Akhil Jindal Revision Part 1:
73 Progress Street
Blacksburg, VA 24060
(540) 555-0100
April 26, 2011
Ms. Jane Frederick
Director of Personnel
Johnson Engineering
23 Old Tower Road
Vienna, VA 22104
Dear Ms. Frederick:
I am writing in response to your advertisement in the Washington Post for a Civil Engineer with an Environmental Systems background who is available in May 2011. By then, I will have a B.S. in Civil Engineering with an environmental engineering emphasis, and I believe that my education and employment background is suitable for the position.
I have taken several courses in Civil Engineering, many dealing with the environment. These courses include studies concerning soils, earth structures, and dynamics of groundwater.
By working in many retail positions, I acquired communications skills essential in dealing with the public. My involvement in several professional organizations has allowed me to obtain numerous contacts that may be helpful to me in the future. I have also gained valuable hands-on experience in community relations between homeowners and the engineering industry through volunteer work in a local home repair organization.
I would welcome the opportunity to discuss my credentials with you. I will call your office early next week to see whether we might arrange a meeting. My phone number is (540) 555-0100, should you desire to contact me.
Sincerely,
Fred Stevens
Akhil Jindal Part 2:
To improve his cover letter, Mr. Stevens needs to avoid wordy sentences, and express his achievements in a concise, yet effective manner. He also needs to avoid using the same sentence structure over and over and add style to his writing in order for the letter to be more readable. Most of his syntax problems could be fixed by simply rearranging the sentence and cutting out unnecessary wording.
Alex Zammit (Part 1)
73 Progress Street
Blacksburg, VA 24060
(540) 555-0100
May 26, 2011
Ms. Jane Frederick
Director of Personnel
Johnson Engineering
23 Old Tower Road
Vienna, VA 22104
Dear Ms. Frederick:
I am writing in response to your ad in the Tuesday, April 25 edition of the Washington Post. The ad called for a Civil Engineer with a background in environmental systems available in May 2011. I will have a B.S. in Civil Engineering with an environmental engineering emphasis by the end of the month. A job at that time would be very attractive.
I have taken several courses in Civil Engineering many dealing with the environment. These courses include soils, earth structures, and dynamics of groundwater.
I have acquired communications skills essential in dealing with the public by working in many retail positions. Moreover, I made numerous contacts through my involvement in several professional organizations. Additionally, I gained valuable hands-on experience in community relations between homeowners and the engineering industry through volunteer work in a local home repair organization.
I welcome the opportunity to discuss my credentials with you. I can be reached at (540) 555-0100 should you desire to contact me. I plan to call your office early next week to see whether we might arrange a meeting.
Sincerely,
(Handwritten signature)
Fred Stevens
Enclosure (Resume)
Alex Zammit (Part 2)
Mr. Stevens should be sure to give more specific examples of why he would like the job and feels he is qualified. He should relate to information about the company and position he seeks that he has learned from the ad or his own research.
Danny Duangphachanh Part 1
Fred Stevens
73 Progress Street
Blacksburg, VA
(540) 555-0100
May 26, 2011
Jane Frederick, Director of Personnel
Johnson Engineering
23 Old Tower Road
Vienna, VA 22104
Dear Ms. Frederick,
I am writing in response to the Civil Engineer with an environmental engineering emphasis position advertised in the April 25th edition of The Washington Post. In May 2011, I am expected to graduate with a B.S. in Civil Engineering with an environmental engineering emphasis.
During my undergraduate career, I have taken courses dealing with soil, earth structures, and dynamics of groundwater and have also been active in several professional organizations. For my work experience, I have held many retail positions and volunteered at a local repair organization for a more hands-on experience between homeowners and the engineering industry.
I believe my coursework and professional experience in civil engineering will contribute to the goals of Johnson Engineering, and I look forward to meeting with you to discuss the position further. I will contact you early next week to discuss my application. If you wish to contact me, I may be reached at (540) 555-0100. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
Fred Stevens
Enclosure
Danny Duangphachanh Part 2
Mr. Stevens should consider adding his school name, researching what the company’s goals are, and saying why he would be a good fit for the company. He should also keep his dates consistent, not sound informal, and add more detail to his associations and experiences.
Sharan Patel (Part 1)
Fred Stevens
73 Progress Street
Blacksburg, VA
(540) 555-0100
May 26, 2011
Jane Frederick
Director of Personnel
Johnson Engineering
23 Old Tower Road
Vienna, VA 22104
Dear Ms. Frederick;
I am writing in response to your ad in the April 25th edition of the Washington Post for a Civil Engineer with a background in environmental systems. I will graduate with a B.S. in Civil Engineering with an environmental engineering emphasis by May 2011 and the position available at your company is highly attractive to me.
During my college career, I have taken several courses that emphasize in environmental studies. These include a study of soils, earth structures, and dynamics of groundwater.
Over the years, I have worked in several retail positions which has allowed me to acquire a set of communication skills essential in dealing with the public. These skills have allowed me to maintain several contacts in professional organizations and gain valuable hands-on experience in community relations between homeowners and the engineering industry. My experience in community relations has primarily been volunteer work at a local home repair organization.
I would welcome the opportunity to discuss my credentials with you, should you be interested in contacting me.
Sincerely,
Fred Stevens
Sharan Patel (Part 2)
Mr. Stevens should emphasize on the position itself, and how much he would enjoy the position and not make it sound as if he is only interested in the position because of the coincidence of timing. He should also avoid saying "I have" too often and relate the his skills to his accomplishments.
